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Jen
02-01-2009, 10:15 PM
I've been trying to rewrite my third novel, as you may know, and have had a few complaints about it. The first was about beginning with a murder, the second was that in my rewrite, I didn't explain the sci-fi elements of the story before I got into it.

In the first version of the book, I began with a psychiatrist talking to the girl who has been accused of murder. During the course of the conversation, she is asked to explain where she lives, which explains the fact that Americans in big cities now live in two storeys, with the poor on the bottom and the rich on the top, and the fact that most upper class people do not reproduce normally, but instead purchase clones, either as embryos or babies.

In the new version, because I get right into the action, I don't have time to explain it, and, with no intervention, might not until the second or even third chapter.

Would you mind being confused for two chapters of a book, or should I work in some sort of narrative explaining? Or, do you mind when books have quotes at the beginning of each chapter? I was thinking I could have some very short fake interviews as quotes.

Not That Guy
02-01-2009, 10:25 PM
Hang on.....whos complained?

Jen
02-01-2009, 10:30 PM
My mother and Larry both said that the narrative in the first one seemed rather awkward. The psychiatrist asked the girl to explain what cities were like and why people buy clones, which he wouldn't have actually done.

And Brad was reading the new version and got grumpy because he didn't know what any of the sci fi stuff was.

Not That Guy
02-01-2009, 10:32 PM
Originally posted by Jen


And Brad was reading the new version and got grumpy because he didn't know what any of the sci fi stuff was.
Tell him its a big leap from Cat in the Hat and Id suggest A fish out of water would be more his style.

Jen
02-01-2009, 10:33 PM
He's actually reading Animal Farm right now. He does read. And if you don't think he's an adequate reader, can I send you a chapter?

No, I thought not. ;) *redheart*

Not That Guy
02-01-2009, 11:15 PM
All animals are created equal... but some are more equal than others

Jen
02-01-2009, 11:19 PM
Originally posted by Not That Guy
All animals are created equal... but some are more equal than others

I see you've read it.

Dan
02-02-2009, 04:10 AM
Put your first chapter on here, and we'll tell you what we think.

Fi
05-10-2009, 12:33 AM
I agree, maybe post the first chapter and we'll see if it's all that confusing.

jimmy
05-10-2009, 12:43 AM
Just post it already. I assume this is M-I were talking about, which I did read (more than once) and I remember what issues I had with it.

Jen
05-10-2009, 03:47 AM
Nah, I gave up months ago, not long after I posted this thread. I'm not going to do anything with it.

Kirtan
05-10-2009, 04:04 AM
explaining things explicitly is the weakest tool avaliable

Jen
05-10-2009, 08:06 PM
Explaining things explicitly sells. This is why Stephen King and Jodi Picoult are millionaires. If I ever go back to this book, the only thing I care about is getting people to buy and read it.

jimmy
05-11-2009, 03:59 AM
The phrase "explaining things explicitly" is incredibly vague.

A good book has ample description without being pedantic or boring. And most people don't like for half the book to be exposition.